


puzzle and pancakes

by enablelove



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, I Love You, M/M, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Schmoop, Stiles is in college, derek showing growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23213926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enablelove/pseuds/enablelove
Summary: “Do you love me?” Stiles asks, needing to know. He feels like he laid his heart bare the night he got here, saying the three little words and Derek had said them back. But they’d felt stilted and awkward in his mouth.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 12
Kudos: 133





	puzzle and pancakes

“Do you love me?” Stiles asks, needing to know. He feels like he laid his heart bare the night he got here, saying the three little words and Derek had said them back. But they’d felt stilted and awkward in his mouth. 

They’re sitting on the sofa after dinner with his Dad, and the question tumbles out of Stiles.

“What?” Derek asks, eyes widening. “Of course I do.”

“Just be honest. I know we’re good together, and I know you care about me, and I’m sorry if I pressured you into saying them. You don’t have to if you’re not ready. Or you can just say that maybe this isn’t what you’re looking for. I can take it.”

Stiles says the words, but they wobble at the end. He truly doesn’t think he can take it. Oh, he would leave and support Derek however he could, because he does love the guy. He’s loved him in one way or another since he was seventeen and saw the effort and love he had for his family, his pack. But, he never wants to make Derek do something he’s not ready for. Stiles doesn’t want to be another person in his life that made choices for him or assumed things.

“Maybe you can read me better than I can read myself,” Derek says, tugging Stiles into a hard kiss, trying to force the emotions down his throat.

“I know the words come out of my mouth…” Derek starts.

“You regret them,” Stiles says with a wince. 

“No,” Derek says with force and Stiles believes him. He doesn’t need to be a werewolf to detect that lie and he feels some tension release from his shoulders and neck. “No, never,” Derek repeats. 

Derek pulls back a little and looks away, taking deep breaths in order to calm himself down. Stiles knows he’s just trying to string the words together, so he relaxes more, matching his breaths to Derek’s. He pulls Derek’s hand into his own, swiping his thumb across the skin and letting Derek know he’s here. 

It’s been a long journey to get here, where Derek is willing to talk through things – with himself, Stiles, and the rest of the pack and Stiles honestly couldn’t be prouder of all the growth Derek’s gone through. 

Finally, Derek speaks.

“I want them to mean more than I think I’m capable of. I look at you and I feel them. Infinitely. I’ve felt them for years, the emotions transforming into what we have today. But I think the words don’t have the same meaning for me anymore. The words are hollow at this point and not enough to grasp how much you mean to me. They hurt me a little when I use them because for almost a year, _she_ said them to me and they were meaningless. I should be over it, but I can’t. They always came with a caveat or pretense or lies. And I don’t feel the way I should when I say or hear them.“

Stiles looks at Derek and hears the anguish in his every word and the open honesty scrawled across his face. Stiles wishes he could go back in time and punch Kate in her face a million times over.

“Hey,” Stiles says softly, scooting close and pressing a soft kiss to Derek’s cheek. 

“We don’t have to use those words. They’re just words. We can use other ones, or gestures, or make up a whole damn language. A language _she_ can no longer touch. You know how I feel and I know how you feel and that’s enough. I know you like me from the way you take care of me, and ask about me, and smile at me. Your kisses tell me that you adore me just a little, and the mind-blowing sex we have says some stuff, too,” Stiles finishes with an over the top wink which makes Derek chuckle. That in itself means mission damn well accomplished. 

“You’re an idiot,” Derek says, but it’s so fond that Stiles knows it means so much more. 

“Guilty,” Stiles says and Derek smiles, bright and beautiful, before pulling him in for a kiss. 

\+ + + 

"Hey, Derek?" Stiles asks, after some of the aforementioned mind-blowing sex. He presses a light kiss to the thin skin at the base of Derek's neck that only he is allowed to touch.

"Hmm?" Derek murmurs, tightening his arms briefly around Stiles in response. 

"Pancakes," Stiles whispers.

"What?" Derek asks, confusion coloring his voice.

"That's how I'm going to say those words. Pancakes." Stiles says, voice low.

"And why pancakes?" Derek asks. Of course, Stiles would use the moment right before falling asleep to have meaningful conversations, when Derek's defenses are at their lowest.

"After our first night together, you made me pancakes. We didn't even have sex, just cuddled because I had driven home three hours after two of the longest finals ever. And when I woke up, you were like the best thing I could even imagine, making me pancakes which is my favorite breakfast food. And you knew it was my favorite because you noticed and listened even when I was being a whiny brat in high school. The adorable red tinge to your ears when you admitted that was when I knew that I was falling for you."

Stiles pulls back so he can look up into Derek's eyes.

"So yeah, pancakes."

Derek kisses him, like he’s not sure how to reciprocate, but knowing he needs to be even closer than before.

\+ + + 

It’s their last night together before Stiles has to drive back, the week of bliss coming to a close. Even though Stiles knows they’ll be fine, he feels more bereft than ever at having to go back to Berkley. Long distance is hard, dammit. 

He’s back in Derek’s arms, head laid on his chest and listening to the faint beat of Derek’s heart. It’s a soothing noise; just a few beats faster than steady. 

Derek’s hand is tracing random patterns across the span of Stiles’ back and it feels so natural to be here. 

“Puzzle,” Derek says apropos of nothing.

Stiles lifts his head up and feels his eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“What?”

“That’s what I’ll use. Because, as sappy as this sounds, you’re the piece I’ve been looking for,” Derek says, and he’s come a long way to keep his eyes trained on Stiles without looking away. Stiles knows he’s blushing, but he can’t help it. Derek being confident and loving and finding his own way to say those three words makes him so proud and cherished at the same time. 

“I like it,” Stiles says, because he does. Derek does feel like the piece that fits, something that just makes sense, and that he’d been searching for but was always buried. He gets all the way up and sits astride his boyfriend, straddling Derek, because sleep the last thing on his mind now, and kisses him deeply.

“Pancakes,” he whispers between kisses, and even though it’s a ridiculous word to murmur, it works for them. A language of their own, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a scene from 'All Rise' 1x18. It's the love convo and parts of it completely taken from the show. It was a BEAUTIFUL scene and so this fic demanded to be written because I could hear Derek feeling that.


End file.
